Month: August 2015

So This is What Fat Looks Like? (May 11, 2010)

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Cheryl Burke

I will preface this post by admitting that this is a topic discussed so oft, there is practically nothing fresh to add. However, since our society continues to adopt an ever more sociopathic bent in its idea of female beauty, I feel the need to raise the issue again.

Last night, as I emerged from my post-Tae Bo bath, I received the following text mesage from a male friend who was watching the evening’s broadcast of Dancing with the Stars with his three young daughters.

“Cheryl Burke is looking heavy.”

I immediately replied that my friend is a sexist punk, but curiosity getting the better of me, as it always does, I promptly set my DVR recording in motion to have a look at this purportedly “heavy” woman……What I saw was, give or take, reflected in the image above.

I am almost too exhausted by this injustice to comment, but of course I will. I am 31 years old and far from famous. When I graduated with my BA in 2000, I weighed upwards of 190 pounds and wore a size 16. I couldn’t walk a standard issue flight of stairs without breathing heavily. Obviously, that is unacceptable at the age of 22, and though it took me a few more years to claim ownership of the hard work required, I am proud to say I lost 60 pounds and have kept it off (give or take a few holiday fluctuations) for 6 full years.

I won’t deny vanity played a role in my efforts, but in large part, I stay in shape for the right reasons – my health. I am perhaps phobically afraid of the aging process and the idea of becoming physically dependent one day, but that does not distort my own ideas of healthy womanhood. I might hate the cellulite that lives on my thighs, but I am learning to love Mother Nature’s curves a little more all the time.

How in the hell can Cheryl Burke, Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Love Hewitt or Tyra Banks – all media targets in recent years, and all gorgeous women – be called “fat” by anyone?

The argument has been made that standards are different for those in the public eye because they “know what they’re getting into” by choosing a career that in part, requires trading on one’s appearance. Nonsense, and I would think a man with three daughters would know better. Why does it seem that with each passing news cycle, female beauty becomes an ever more abstract concept, to be discussed in academic theory, but never really achievable by anyone? I realize there was never a formal meeting held by the Earth’s males, but it feels at times as if there’s a global conspiracy to keep us ladies held in check by some basic level of worthlessness.

In 2007, when Britney Spears was in the throes of her career meltdown, and bombed performing her single “Gimme More,” live on MTV, she was upset not at her deteriorating mental condition, or her crappy lip synching. No, she was in tears backstage after the show, wailing that she looked “like a fat pig,” as if that were the worst of her problems in that hour. She was about to lose custody of her two sons, but egads! Priorities! Let’s lose those 5 pounds first!

It’s wrong. It’s out of control. Men of the world, I ask ye: please start picking on your own gender. Lord knows there are plenty of uglies to choose from. Ah but yes, I forgot, as long as the man is rich/funny/talented, looks don’t matter. Just ask Jesse James, Tiger Woods or Larry King. Ladies! Let’s stop being complicit in our own destruction. Next time you feel a catty comment about another female’s weight rising to the surface, eat some chocolate instead. It tastes a whole lot better than jealousy anyway.

Re-Reading Jane Eyre (May 8, 2010)

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Jane Eyre

Sometimes, despite the overuse of the term, a novel is deemed a classic with good reason. This work of art by Charlotte Bronte is a fixture of the English Literature canon because it is a fantastic read. Yes, I am a former member of the academic criticism world, a place where nothing is taken as fact, and everything is up for argument, but I don’t trust anybody who doesn’t believe with all their heart that Jane Eyre is literary magnificence.

I am currently reading the book for the third time in my existence. With each reading, at different stages of my life, I have found something completely new. As a 14 year-old girl, I deemed Jane’s rags to riches romance with the arrogant Mr. Rochester to be an ideal romantic fantasy. As an unhappy teenager, I often dreamt of the Prince Charming who would love me for who I was, and whisk me off to a life of foxhunts in the English Countyside.

When I picked up the book for the second time as an undergraduate, I felt a painful kinship that I could not believe I had previously overlooked, with Bertha, the “mad woman in the attic,” the forgotten and isolated first wife of Rochester. The presumed disposability of this woman, on the part of both the author and her character, angered me. As a rebellious young adult in the full throws of a 1990s post-gothic malaise, I identified with the helpless dependency of Bertha’s predicament. I wished to rescue her, to empower her, even if I didn’t yet grasp how to do that for myself.

As I round the corner toward 32, a little wiser, and at the top of my physical and psychological game (that’s right people, this is as good as it gets), I have taken up my old favorite (or one of about 15 anyway), greedily consuming it with another pair of fresh eyes. I am now older than Jane is when she finally gets her “happy ending,” and I now realize that happiness is a slippery term. The truth is that finding your destiny is oftentimes a simple combination of mistakes and calculated choices. Jane and Rochester’s union is indeed a love match. And like all imperfect loves (for is there any other kind?), theirs is full of untruths, and disfigurements of the literal and metaphorical kind. They are equal partners in the sense that Rochester provides the money, and Jane, the sight and strength. Neither of them are much are on their own, but as a whole, it works. Jane Eyre is not a fairytale, as I believed when I was 14 years old. Somehow I like this even more.

I have a humanist approach to my take on the act of reading. The book acts upon you as much as you act upon it. A great text allows room for the the reader to step into the story, letting it become personal. Depending on the moment, and your environment, the narrative can make you laugh, cry or feel disgust. One of the reasons I will always love Jane Eyre so much is that book feels so essentially me. I wonder what I will look like when I take up the book again in my 40s.

My Big, Fat Greek Default (May 6, 2010)

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Greece

Greece, that ancient land. What it giveth us culturally, it simultaneously taketh away.

They give us the philosophic wisdom of Socrates, but we must also accept Constantine Maroulis, former American Idol failure, and “star” of Broadway’s Rock of Ages.

They provide us with ouzo, so that we can comfortably endure the amoral, classless legacy of the college fraternity system.

They give us a beautiful vacation spot beloved by tourists for centuries, and then they go bankrupt.

They giveth….Ok, I’ll stop. You get the point.

By now most of us know about the great fiscal crisis currently abroil in Greece. Hitting a little too close to home, given America’s own balloning deficit, and the ’08 collapse of our banking system, it is impossible not to feel empathy for the Greek people. The picture above clearly demonstrates that they are mad as hell about their current fiscal situation. What to do?

However, my issue today is not with Greek folks, or even the nation itself. Instead, I want to talk about Germany and it’s blame in creating the mess that caused the Dow to fall a collective 347.8 points over the course of the day.

Germany, you ask? What does the land of beer and sauerkraut have to do with Greece’s current meltdown (full disclosure: Boop and Jen are half German by lineage)? Didn’t they just approve a bailout package for the struggling nation two days ago?

Yes, they did dear readers, but sadly this vote, which makes Germany look much the proactive benefactor, comes far too late in the game. In fact, the European Union has been aware for quite a long time that Greece was on the brink. And as recently as mid-February, the Germans did not want to do much of anything to help their “spendthrift” economic partners.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/16/world/europe/16germany.html

So two months of hemming, hawing, “not my problem” isolationism later, here were are. Greece is the new United States, and global markets are in a free fall. Obviously, given that our nation is still muddling through a way to figure out what the hell happened to our own economy, we have no space to start pointing fingers.

But I am not Barack Obama and I have no need for diplomacy. Germany, j’accuse!

The justification for waiting it out was that “Every country has its own debts.” Well yes, in theory that is true. However, when Europe decided to make it a coalition by creating the European Union, they implicitly resigned the right to keep their concerns within their own borders. If Germany is now second guessing the wisdom of the EU, formed during the heady, prosperous aughts, well they are not the only ones.

I realize that blaming Germany for this debacle does not determine its only cause, nor does it do anything to resolve the gigantic crater sitting in the middle of the Greek economy. But we must hope that Germany is paying attention now, and understands that it can no longer treat the Greeks like so many drunken cousins, whose life choices have no effect on its own fortunes.

Insecurity (May 4, 2010)

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National Security

What do Arizona’s new immigration law, the BP oil spill off the Gulf Coast, South Park, President Ahmadenijad of Iran’s address to the UN, and the weekend bombing attempt in Times Square, all have in common? Well according to this blogger, these are all issues which expose the weaknesses of our national security. Until recently, I have not paid the attention to this overarching issue that it deserves. I have spent time chasing the “sexier” topics of elections, banking reform, the economy and the repeal of “Don’t ask, Don’t tell,” but national security is not a conversation so easily digestible. It is slippery, hard to pin down, and for that reason I believe, fails at times to hold the notice of myself and other Americans.

But in truth, most issues facing the U.S. today can be directly correlated to some national security concern. We can’t just wait for catastrophes like 9/11, Shoe Bombers, or Christmas Day granny panty wearers from Yemen, to make us focus. The cluster of current events which I mention above are a live testament to this truth in the following ways:

1. Arizona went rogue and created its own immigration laws, in part, because there has been inadequate response to protecting our borders at the Federal level. I am in no way defending the plan the State came up with, but there is a real sense of frustration out there on both sides of the political aisle, and across the nation. Obama has quite the full plate right now, but we need to prioritize reform. Or one day, it won’t be just jobseekers hopping the fence, but sinister people who have figured out that our porous boundaries are a great way to do us harm.

2. The BP oil spill, and the company’s completely lackluster response to stopping and cleaning up the leak, does a lot more than harken us back to the Exxon Valdez disaster of the late 80s. It creates more chaos in an already vulnerable region – highlighting the downside to remaining an oil-dependent nation. The lost oil supplies damage our environment, and leave us more prone to remain under the thumb of “black gold” – rich Middle East nations.

3. Which brings me to South Park and the Times Square bombing plot. Recently, in honor of the show’s 200th episode, creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker did an irreverent sendup of the Muslim religion by depicting the Prophet Mohammed – in disguise. Nothing is safe with these guys, and anyone with a sense of humor ought to know that. Jon Stewart and myself were more than a little miffed when Comedy Central chose to censor the episode without the creators’ consent. And I maintain that free speech requires more bravery than the network showed. But then…..Faisal Shahzad drove a 1993 Nissan Pathfinder loaded with amateur explosives into Manhattan and parked it guess where? Very close to Comedy Central’s New York headquarters.

4. And finally we have President Ahmadenijad of Iran, an asshat of epic proportions. I am glad that 95% of the world can come together to agree on that. But since UN headquarters are located in the U.S. (and again in Manhattan – poor folks), we have to deal with the indignity of letting this man deplane and tread on our land, so he can spout the garbage that spews from his hate filled mouth. Yesterday, reports had it that Iran’s leader attempted to escalate the nation’s “nuclear showdown” with the U.S., even with the looming threat of economic sanctions. As long as this man remains in power in Iran, no one is safe. Walkouts from his fiery rhetoric won’t accomplish anything – not with a man who violently puts down civilian protests at home.

As stated at the opening of this post, I am no national security expert, and do not have any good ideas for a comprehensive plan to ensure the protection of our nation and its citizens. I just think it’s pretty clear that we need one. Like 10 years ago. Up to now, we look like the proverbial boat that started springing leaks in the late 1990s, with nothing more durable to plug them up than a cork here and there. Corks pop, and the sounds I’ve been hearing when I turn on the television or surf the web are the noises of a thousand little bursts.

Thoughts?

The Inaugural Team June/Jesika Gets It Done (May 1, 2010)

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walk

What a beautiful day. After last night’s torrential downpour, the skies cleared up, right before 8:30 AM, the time designated by Team Leader Jen for the troops to gather. We met at the Southeast corner of Fullerton and Cannon on this most unusual April day to remember two brave women, Grandma June and my sister from another mister, Jesika Brooke Thompson. We talked, we ate, we enjoyed the sunshine, but most importantly, we came together to walk for a cure.

As the emcee correctly stated during the walk’s opening ceremonies, half the cause of ovarian cancer’s high mortality rate is its difficulty to detect. At this time, no reliable test exists of the kind that has been developed to suss out other female cancers (pap smear, mammogram). No one learned that lesson the hard way more than Jesika, who collapsed from a pulmonary embolism one day, just to find out that Stage 4 of the disease had already taken over her vital organs. 17 days later, on April 25, 2009, we said goodbye.

However today was not a day of sorrow, though I did breakdown toward the end of the opening procession. A group of survivors graced the stage and my heart burned, for several moments, with the intense desire to pull a rabbit from a hat and see Jesika standing up there alongside the other women. Danielle and Gary, the completing sides to our high school foursome, joined me for an indulgent moment of sorrow, and a hug before I tried to pull myself together.

The warm sunshine beamed down on our faces as we walked the three mile course from Fullerton and the lake shore, to Diversey, up West for a bit, and then back to the starting line. Max entertained the walkers with a lovely Black Eyed Peas/Beyonce medley. KK and I were joined at the hip as always. And the fifteen members of our team, many of whom were strangers before today, chatted with the ease of old friends.

We raised $1000 for the 13th Annual NOCC Illinois Chapter Walk for Ovarian Cancer, and I think we all enjoyed it so much, we plan to make this effort an annual event. I hope next year Kevin is able to join us. I want to personally thank all of the friends, family and loved ones who either walked with us today, or donated generously. Some people did both and for that, Jen and I are especially grateful.

I want to end with a note of overwhelming gratitude to my sister, co-blogger and Team June/Jesika’s able Captainess, Jen of All Trades. I very much wanted to participate in this event and know I would have done it solo. But I am still too raw, I think, to have coordinated a group effort, which made that much more impact. It is something special to have a sister who reads your mind, and then is strong enough to accomplish for you what you aren’t able to do alone. I am glad we were able to honor Grandma and Jesika’s lives this way. Jen’s hard work and leadership made that tribute possible.

See you next year.