“This term I’m fortunate to have a student in class, Jack, who happens to be a member of the Chicago Cubs security team. When we first met in January, he was already well aware of the NEIU staff’s biggest Cubs fan (There was no formal competition and I crowned myself. But I digress…). So he knew to mention that he’d be receiving a 2016 World Series ring of his own once the 2017 season commenced. Overcome by equal parts excitement and jealousy, I insisted he bring that bad boy to our final class session for an undergrad version of show and tell.
Because I’m someone who tends to enjoy ball busting generally, and more specifically where people I mentor are involved, I’ve sprinkled empty threats full of ring pilfering wishful thinking throughout the term. I’ve also suggested I’ll secure a wealthy patron to make Jack an irrefutable financial offer, bewitch said patron with my considerable charms and take the beautiful ring home. I have an active baseball imagination anyway and when it comes to World Series 2016 mementos, I’m essentially Gollum with more hair.”
“Illinois has no budget. Our state has entered year three of Rauner’s fiscal chicken game with taxpayer funds. Allegedly, the tough love stance supports a “business-friendly” agenda that just happens to include a list of modern Republican Party favorites: deregulation, eviscerating worker protections and tax cuts. Yet the stubborn approach is a demonstrable failure that’s driven away corporations and residents alike. A January report from Chicago Business Journal woefully observes, “[In 2016] Illinois ranked third among all states in terms of the most outbound moves. Yes, that would be moves out of the state.”
More tellingly, “60 percent of moves in Illinois were among people headed out of a state wracked by billions in unpaid bills, no approved state budget, a sluggish employment environment and, in the case of Chicago, soaring crime rates.”
“I hadn’t watched an episode of Dancing with the Stars in years. And I don’t suppose anything other than a member of the 2016 World Series Chicago Cubs accepting the challenge to compete would have enticed me to return. This is an abnormal moment in American history. The former host of The Apprentice is now Commander-in-Chief. And the spiritual leader of the greatest Cubs team in modern history is faithfully shaking his sequined moneymaker every week on live TV. How can I reasonably stay away?
I admit that when I first learned Rossy would take on ballroom dancing, the idea seemed to make as much sense as giving a thirsty person a glass of saltwater. After years spent in a crouched position racking up concussions, no way was David Ross a threat to flexible fellow contestants like Olympic Gold Medal gymnast Simon Biles. But the catcher is retired from baseball and always demonstrated a flair for the silly in the Cubs dugout (treat yourself to this video of Rossy playing air drums during Phil Collins classic “In the Air Tonight”). Why not try something scary and new?”
“I was not a fan of President Obama’s ‘red line’ followed by a general approach of confusion and inaction toward a ravaged Syria. But neither am I in favor of unilateral violence ordered by a President cloaked in corruption, scandal and general, inhuman oddity.
The first two and a half of months of the Trump administration have been a break necking blur of stupidity and heartlessness. However, the third leg of this gang’s unholy stool is incompetence and while they’ve tried to illegally ban certain immigrants and wrench grateful Americans from their Obamacare, we can be grateful they’re too disorganized to succeed. But Syria has been bombed, officially. It has never taken genius or coordination to fire weapons and indiscriminately kill.”