Is There A More Delusional Douche on the Planet than Jon Gosselin? (July 18, 2009)

I was on the “Hate Kate” bandwagon for a long time. I still in fact think both parents are shameless to an extent, mercenary people who fooled around with fertility drugs, then cashed in when they were in over their heads. That the Gosselin kids are so adorable only gives the whole situation that much more pathos.

Even so, the male “better half” of this relationship is really a piece of work. Yes, Kate is a bitch. Fine. But come on. Mistress #1 on the bottom, a 23 year-old schoolteacher named Deanna Hummel. Not content with someone old enough to have a graduate degree, Mr. Gosselin moves on to lucky lady #2, Hailey Glassman.

This one is a real winner, a proper stepmom in waiting. I don’t really care that she has a “racy past” or that she’s an obvious idiot. What else to expect from, a 22 year-old? The only truly telling thing about her character is that she’s a famewhore, and like almost everybody else in this situation, not worried about the children.

The true slimeball here is Papa Jon. Whatever is going on with he and his soon-to-be-ex-wife is between them. But one day he will have to account for this trashy, opportunistic, whorey behavior to his brood of 8. What will he say to them? Mumbling into the camera with his head down like a beaten animal won’t do. Does he think anyone will ever give a damn about him again? What career does he imagine for himself?


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