Colder Than the Mood at Tiger’s House (December 10, 2009)

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cold

Before any of you wiseacres post comments, yes, I realize how phallic this image is. Hee hee. Beavis and Butthead would be proud.

Well now, winter has arrived hasn’t it? There can be no doubt about that. As I headed into work this morning wearing tights, jeans, wool socks, boots, my ski jacket, a hat, scarf and gloves (which still wasn’t enough), I told myself for the millionth time that I will, in fact, get out of here one day and move to Miami. Chicago has me caught in such a terrible Catch-22. From a culture, cleanliness and population density perspective, nothing can beat the Windy City. It’s just unfortunate that the damned place is uninhabitable for seven months a year. Though I do love to take the piss out of the elderly, I will likely join them before I turn 40. Each year I grow less tolerant of shivering.

I am sure all of us have some cold snap snafu stories for the day, but here are a couple of anecdotes from my end:

1. Eddie drove our car to the office in Oakbrook this morning. I had a bad feeling before he left the house. Call me the trivial psychic. Sure enough, he popped a tire on I-294 near the O’Hare Oasis. That was at 8:30 AM. It is now 3:35 – seven hours later. He had to wait two hours for a tow truck and three hours for the garage to have time to change the tire. A whole’s day lost plus $500 in towing and replacement expenses.

2. It may have cost less money, but it was no easier for those of us on the CTA (is it ever?). The Brown Line train I took downtown stopped several times due to “equipment failure” – i.e. a frozen door. The train then decided to turn into an Orange Line bound for Midway at Merchandise Mart. A whole herd of the frozen cattle (including myself) disembarked to huddle together for the next approaching Brown Line. I was relatively blase about this. However, many of my fellow commuters had choice words for the conductor as we alighted. I silently cheered them on. I try to behave with some decorum, but am a nostalgic anarchist in my heart of hearts.

I hope all of you are staying warm somehow, whether that involves calling in sick to work or ambling over to the nearest happy hour spot for an old fashioned hot toddy. Snuggle a loved one tonight. Start a blaze if you are lucky enough to have a fireplace. Or if not, grab your partner and make some sparks of your own (see image above). Frigidity lends itself to loving. Can I get an amen?

In the 21st Century, You Know You’re on the Right Track When… (December 9, 2009)

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Google

I know it’s really small, but look! My name autocompletes on Google!

This caused me a considerable degree of excitement last night, because, as recently as a month ago, this was not the case. This development in my writing name recognition is purely the result of my work for the Edge, as a theater and book critic. Not only do I get “hits” for my reviews posted on the site, but my writings are in turn repackaged and requoted on other websites such as Beacon Press, Theater in Chicago, the Drury Lane and the Auditorium Theater.

Though I have recently been nominated for two awards by the Illinois Women’s Press Association in their “Features” category for my work for StreetWise on the topic of urban agriculture, StreetWise does not have an online edition. Though my reporting for the publication certainly boosts my chops and credentials, this does not raise my profile digitally. The awards will not be handed out until May, 2010, but I will be sure to post the outcome when the time comes (like you could stop me anyway).

I have had a lot to be dour about this year, and I have certainly struggled to feel “accomplished” at many intervals. The New York Times has not come a’knockin’ yet, but I left the corporate world just seven months ago to try and make a name for myself as a writer. According to the folks at Google, I am on my way.

Weekend Headlines (December 6, 2009)

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While I was away at the Renaissance hotel on State and Wacker last night with Eddie, living like a lucky princess: (room on a restricted access floor, steam room and jacuzzi, deep tissue massage – I guess there are some perks after all to having a husband who traveled all year and earned enough Marriott points to settle the national debt), I awoke from the lazy haze of anniversary pampering long enough to pay attention to the following:

1. ‘SNL’ criticized for Tiger Woods skit

http://tv.yahoo.com/news/article/tv.accesshollywood.com/tv.accesshollywood.com-snl-criticized-after-airing-tiger-woods-domestic-violence-skit-while-rihanna-show

Like anything could be more “insensitive” than portraying yourself as the ultimate stable family man to millions of fans, while in fact being a dirty, shameless, immature manwhore. I thought Jon Gosselin had an absolute lock on being the sleaziest husband/father in the public eye this year. But in a photo finish, it appears Tiger Boy may upset the poster boy for Ed Hardy after all.

2. Cutler stumbles after fast start but Bears earn must-win over lowly Rams

http://espn.go.com/nfl/recap?gameId=291206003

The Bears managed to win one. Yeah! Dubiously, they are decalred by CBS broadcasters to be “in the hunt” for a playoff berth. Not with Lovie in charge and our superstar quarterback calling plays. I never thought I’d miss Rex Grosssman. Ever. But at least he sucked without eating too much of the payroll.

3. Slew of tax, fee, fine hikes across the city – GOING UP City taxes and fees on everything from booze to museum admissions have soared since ’04

http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/1922861,CST-NWS-taxes06.article

When will we the citizens of Cook County let Daley (pick any one) and Stroger (pick any one) stop violating us? I am so tired of it.

Newlyweds No More (December 4, 2009)

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Eddie and Becky

Tomorrow, December 5th, will mark my second wedding anniversary with my husband Eddie. Beginning from the four day affair which united us in Raipur, India, it seems to have been one crazy event to the next leading us to this milestone. This year, 2009, was particularly beset with obstacles and tests.

We began the year with Eddie’s layoff and spent most of the rest of it separated by the constant travel required to keep him employed. Then there was the parental invasion from India over the summer, a giant strain if overall a positive bonding experience. Jesika passed. I had the swine flu. We experienced a crisis of loyalty over the summer, and now, the recent illness and hospitalization of my father.

Though some of these issues are still in the process of resolution, it seemed fitting and necessary to take a “day off” from regular life and appreciate the fact that we have made it. We are still here. For right now, that is more than enough to celebrate.

Some Obvious Advice for Tiger Woods: If You Are Weary of “Rumors” and “Speculation”, Tell the Cops What Happened Already (November 29, 2009)

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woods

I was over this story the moment I first heard about it Friday morning. Yes, I am aware that I am nonethless blogging about it. It is not my fault. My hand has been forced by the nonstop chatter of media personalities, including one hyperbolic CNN correspondent who referred to the golfing great as “the most recognizable face in the world…maybe ever.” I have a feeling Elvis, the Beatles, Michael Jackson and Madonna (not to mention Gandhi, Churchill and Hitler) would beg to differ. The man has a minor fender bender and the world stops. Blame it on a slow news cycle I guess. Last year at this time, we were on the edge of our seats watching the outcome of the Mumbai terrorist attacks. Now that was news.

So fine, Tiger is rich, famous and talented, so any story about him is bound to get some play. But what never ceases to amaze me about celebrities is that they whine about unwanted media attention, whilst fanning the flames of curious fury themselves.

Case in point: Woods postponed the requisite police interview for the third day in a row. Whatcha hiding Tiger? A DUI? A domestic dispute gone horribly awry? If so, you wouldn’t be the first, so out with it already. If any of us plebians refused to speak to the Federales after wrecking our vehicles, we’d have some time in lock up to think about it.

http://www.examiner.com/x-17547-Financial-Fraud-Examiner~y2009m11d29-Tiger-Woods-car-accident-update-Could-Woods-face-criminal-charges-for-not-speaking-to-police

Call me cynical, but if ever there was a blood alcohol level issue, it is far too late to determine it now. Meanwhile Mr. and Mrs. Woods have had leisurely days to get their respective stories straight. Conventional wisdom tells me Tiger Boy had one too many, got lippy with his wife, and tried to peel out of his driveway on Thanksgiving night, muttering something about, “showing them all.” Fine, it happens to the best of us.

If you want the story to die, own up, tell the 5-0 the truth. Take a page out of the book of President Barack Obama, who when asked on the campaign trail if he had ever smoked dope and inhaled, famously replied, “I thought that was the point.” Have you heard a thing about it since?

Right.