Little Differences (April 19, 2009)

Disclaimer: the following post is in no way intended to be a serious critical discussion of the cultural and religious differences between the U.S. and Israel. I am not qualified to make those types of distinctions, nor, in the end, do I ultimately feel they are important. I am interested here in the little quirks that let me know, as a girl from Chicago, that I am definitely somewhere else. In the last two days, I have walked upwards of ten miles around Tel Aviv, a midsized City of 500,000, and for every one of these observations, I did not consider it recordable unless I witnessed on at least three or more occasions. So it’s not an exact science, but I stand by my claims that these are discernable Israeli behavior patterns.

– Solo riders in taxis sit right up front with the driver, and most of the time, *gasp!* even engage in conversation with them. Most of us regular Janes in Chicago like our cabbie to take us where we asked to go without any extraneous chitchat, and we certainly don’t ride shotgun.

– The pedestrian “walk” signal, rather than white in color, is green over here. For whatever reason, I have a Pavlovian response to this that gives me the urge to run very fast when it is time to cross the street. The childhood game “Red Light, Green Light” apparently penetrates into the psyche far deeper than previously imagined.

– On that note, traffic laws and signs are apparently offerred as suggestions, as opposed to hard and fast rules. This explains the inordinate amount of people who drive on the sidewalk (yes), go the wrong way down one-way streets, and run red lights without the slightest “tsk, tsk” from passerby.

– Coffee shops ALWAYS double as pubs. It is perfectly acceptable for the Israeli corporate type to get an Irish coffee to go and finish it at their desk before starting the day’s work. I honestly think this practice needs to make its way to professional America. Imagine the increase in job satisfaction.

– To continue that thought, convenience stores put individual beers in the cooler at the front of the store, right next to the bottled water and soda. There is nothing at all strange about a person popping in for a brew and merrily sipping it as they walk down the street. This may seem counterintuitive, but it appears to cut down on the incidence of public intoxication and drunk driving, because the taboo is completely removed. Something to consider.

– I have not seen even one stray dog, though there are plenty of dogs in Israel. However, stray cats roam the streets in abundance. For some reason, I find this both increasingly depressing as well as less threatening.

– People think those who jog are mentally ill, a response I ran into hundreds of times as I ran through the streets of Bobby and Moish’s neighborhood this morning. Running just doesn’t seem to be understood in a place where it’s far easier to drink an iced Irish coffee on a sweltering morning. That being said, Israelis can literally walk for miles without any visible signs of fatigue. I am nearly 20 years younger than my companions, and as I arrogantly thought, in far better shape. But guess who was begging for mercy after these lengthy jaunts the last two days?

– Israeli men, well 85% of them anyway, are H-O-T. In fact, the incidence of pulchritude amongst both sexes is astoundingly high, and almost no one is obese. I would be positively drowned in envy were I not too busy looking. Hey! I am married, not dead, you know?

– Whereas Chicago has pretty well defined boundaries between downtown and residential areas, the layout here is continuous and fluid. It is not at all uncommon to have a sprawling shopping mall, a car dealer, several apartment complexes, and a high rise office building on the same block.

– Chicago is abominable when it comes to recycling, one of the few things about Chi town that really sticks in my craw. On the other hand, Tel Aviv is very casually green: plastic bottle receptacles scattered casually throughout the City, solar panels, lights, even attached to businesses, that operate on motion detection.

– Buildings, even new construction, are built solidly of stone, not brick, or even the much maligned (by me anyway) glass and steel. These materials may come into play, but they are not the sum total.

– People bring their kids everywhere, and that includes bars, clubs, late night cinemas., etc. There appears to be no such thing as an “adults only” haven, much to the chagrin of my hosts. Fine, I hate this too. I said it.

– Each shopping mall appears to contain at least two or three tattoo parlors.

– People stare at you. They look long and hard. I realized belatedly that this not rudeness. They are just trying to gain some understanding before they speak – not a bad habit in my opinion, although it takes getting used to.

– Israelis work to live, rather than live to work. One of my hosts, Moish, is an RN. He opts to work three days a week because that is enough to satisfy his material needs, and still allow him the time to pursue his music, work with animals, etc. If this philosophy could be bottled and sold, I would be the first customer in line.

– Fast food restaurants are few and far between (see my above comment on lack of fat Israelis).

– Curls, rather than flat irons, are celebrated as beautiful. Obviously, for very personal reasons (see Boop on the right in the above photo), this brings me great joy.

Lessons Learned (April 18, 2009)

I have been in Tel Aviv for all of 36 hours and I have already answered the following questions:

1. How exactly will my body respond to absinthe?

I have read Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises numerous times. It is one of my favorite novels of all time, misogyny and all. In it, Jake Barnes and Brett, the romantic leads, ingest this naughty beverage, declared to cause hallucinations, more than once. Bobby offered a me a shot last night before we went out and I could barely contain my excitement. I am sorry to report that absinthe did not live up to the hype. It burned my throat approximately three times as much as it provided any strange effect. And this is when I was already severely hobbled by jetlag. Sad.

2. Do Israelis bear the same level of intolerance for Arabs as has been historically shown to them?

To my great despair, the answer seems to be “yes,” and what’s worse is that I actually understand where Israelis are coming from. Basically, they are under constant attack from all countries that border them except for Egypt, and that includes: Lebanon, Syria, Palestine (Gaza), and the West Bank (sort of an undifferentiated home for Arabs). I being the naive and optimistic Nancy that I tend to be, always hope for a peaceful coexistence between Arabs and Jews in the region, but now that I have begun to grasp the politics and nuances at play, it is hard not to feel hopeless regarding the lasting chances of peace in the region. For example, while watching the local news today, I heard a leader from the West Bank declare, to loud cheers, that Arabs will “never accept the State of Israel.” That seems highly counterproductive as the country has already been in existence for decades. There are as many peaceful and loving Arabs as there are Jews who just want to live unharmed. Unfortunately, it would seem that the leaders of both sides have their own rhetorical and personal agendas which preclude this process from ever getting off the ground. Obviously, much more so than the absinthe disappointment, this is just sad.

3. Is Tel Aviv the dangerous, bombed out hovel that was shown to the USA on TV in the 80s and 90s?

Everything I have seen since I arrived goes dead set against the stereotypes of the City as a shellacked and dangerous war zone. Like Chicago, it has trendy areas that are being gentrified with new housing developments and shops, homeless folks, crowding, issues with property taxes – in other words, all of the issues which plague every major world city. I saw the long, pristine beaches of the Mediterranean Sea today, and, much as I love my hometown, Tel Aviv has some amenities that Chicago may want to consider: sandlot gyms, open air cafes, shops and bars. Everything here is very European in look and feel. I took almost 30 photos today itself and will post some of them on these pages as I return.

4. Can I drink the local tap water without getting sick?

The answer to this, apparently yes. However, I chalk this finding up to pure fatigue and laziness, rather than science or bravado. Also, the results have been duplicated more than once, so I feel fairly confident.

5. Are my skills compromised at bar entertainment trivia games when I am in a foreign land?

Indeed no. Bring it!

Tomorrow is only Day 3 of my nine day Israeli adventure. There is, as yet, so much more to see and learn. But I have had my eyes opened (not just closed with hash and absinthe) so much already.

Shalom (April 15, 2009)

Well boys and girls, I am off to Israel! Tomorrow afternoon, I fly from Chicago to Tel Aviv by way of London, and will arrive late Friday afternoon. I have never flown for so long a stretch completely unaccompanied, but I actually look forward to it. Plenty of time for sleep, journal writing, reading and movie watching – all things I normally never have enough time to do. My friends Bobby and Moish, who are kind enough to host me, have planned a whirlwind itinerary for us: floating on the Dead Sea, tours of Tel Aviv, Jerusalem and Akko. I will see the Western Wall, the holy site where Jesus allegedly gave his famous “Sermon on the Mount,” and be there on Monday, 4/20, to witness the observance of Holocaust Memorial Day. I will see things that take my breath away, break my heart and inspire me – all in the company of great friends. I am a very lucky girl and eager to make the most of this opportunity.

Though I never ascribed much to my Christian upbringing and have long since converted to Hinduism, I cannot deny that something about Israel speaks to me as part of the world from which I spring. I suspect I may discover some surprising and new things about myself on this journey, besides whether or not my body can tolerate absinthe.

I will have sporadic access to a computer while I am away, and do plan to check in with some thoughts and musings on the all the things I will see. I return Sunday, April 26th, and once I calm down from the excitement of the trip and seeing my beloved husband again, I plan to give my sojourn the treatment it deserves, and share some of my experiences with all of you.

Until then, behave!

Homecoming (April 11, 2009)

In all the excitement of the week, both positive and negative, I almost forgot to mention the good news regarding the next phase of my road warrior husband’s career. He has been, for the most part, happily working away in Denver for Comcast. Of course he has missed our home and the cats, but has found himself suprisingly content with the work he has been doing, and with the camaraderie of his colleagues. I had asked him to keep looking for jobs in Chicago, but the truth of the matter is, he had stopped searching. However, that does not mean companies stopped looking for him.

One such interested party was Blue Cross/Blue Shield right here in Chicago. At the risk of sounding hyperbolic, this was a posting that many of Eddie’s fellow IT consultants had heard of and wanted badly. In this economy, health care is one of the few “safe” industries left. The attractiveness of a company of that size, with that capacity to take on exciting projects, such as the Electronic Health Record work that President Obama has highlighted as critical to the future of health care, cannot be overstated. Anyway, Blue Cross told my hubby when they met him face to face, that they had received well over 100 resumes for the job. Here’s the irony: one of those hundreds was not from Eddie. As I said, he had stopped looking. My husband, oddly not one to take all the credit for his career success, even though he is more than willing to do so in most social situations, has basically concluded that his lucky number simply came up. Hogwash, I say. When you have it, you have it, and Eddie had it all along. It still saddens to me to see the confidence fallout he is left with after a bruising January and February.

So, Eddie is coming home. This week will be his last flying to Denver. He begins his new assignment, a manager role (I confess I am guilty of bragging – sue me), Monday, 4/20. Heh heh. 4/20. Oops, sorry. At least for the first couple of weeks, it appears he will not have to travel at all. And when he does, the trips will be shorter. Blue Cross has already talked salary, benefits and vacation time with him, so selfishly for me, this is a great gain as well. As you all know, I am about to join the ranks of the unemployed. I have been the one providing the health insurance coverage while Eddie has chased the big dollar contracts. So now, with this gig being a permanent one, the heat is turned down even lower on my behind.

At any other time, these developments, basically all I have prayed for since 2009 began, would have me streaking through the streets with joy. But I have had a good stiff kick to the face this week which reminded me that money, climbing the corporate ladder and all the accoutrements that come with it, are fleeting, and in the end, meaningless. I am just happy to have Eddie home with me. That’s where he belongs.

Luck Be With A Lady (April 8, 2009)

I am going to protect her privacy and not name names, because my friend is not the type to enjoy a serious fuss made over her anyway. The laughs and cheers that accompany her slapstick, smart-aleck comedy are always welcome, but she is never one to tolerate real drama, or even worse, tears. I fought them back as I spoke to her on the phone yesterday afternoon, though all I really wanted to do was have a nice, cleansing shock and panic breakdown. But for once, this situation, and in fact, this post, are not about me. So I swallowed my tears because on top of everything else she’s dealing with, my buddy shouldn’t have to comfort anyone. On second thought, my blubbering may have offerred her a distraction in that she could have impatiently chastised me for jumping right away to the worst conclusions (I have a habit of doing that, you know). I’ll try to remember that when I visit her later this week.

My friend and I have been in each others’ lives since the age of 14, when my skinny, Harry Caray glasses wearing, Lutheran school geek self first began to idolize her. She was so much more confident, funny and cool than I could ever dream of being at that time (hell, even now). We engaged in all the usual freshman year of high school milestones together: first periods, first stolen hood ornaments, first time drunk on a tennis court – you know, the usual.

After that year, she and her mother relocated to Hawaii, where her mom had found a great new job. For awhile, a long while even, my friend and I exchanged letters, gifts and other trinkets through the mail, a la Beaches. Inevitably, as we grew older and our lives took different paths, the contact lessened and eventually dropped to nothing. I never forgot her though and corny as it sounds, I was always sorry I never said the words, “You are my best friend.”

So what a boon for me when the advent of Social Networking came about. My friend and I reconnected on FaceBook two years ago. By then she was a lawyer in New York. Though so many years had passed, slipping back into friendship with her was like finding a favorite pair of worn slippers hidden in the recesses of your closet. While in law school, she had met and fallen in love with a great guy, who, lo and behold, happened to live in Chicago. My friend relocated shortly thereafter and we began a comfortable routine of emails, home visits and happy hours.

But now she’s in trouble and looks to be in for the battle of her life. It’s the Big C. She is an otherwise healthy 30 year-old woman and all of the sudden, her world has been turned totally upside down. I promised to try and be cool when I pay her a visit on Friday, but I don’t have a very good poker face, as you may have guessed. I am very likely to sniffle, but thankfully she knows to expect this after 16 years of friendship.

Honestly, if she had any inkling I was even going to say this much about her on my blog, she would have already rushed over here to unplug my computer. But I have learned from my past mistakes and will not repeat them. I will say the words I was too immature and foolish to say when you moved to Hawaii. You are one of my best friends, and I am here for you. Even if I annoy the crap out of you and you yell at me, I will take that as a sign of your continued strength and smile right at you.